never say never.....

feels great to be told your pretty much a problem
feels great not being able to change them, yet you try and change everyone elses
feels stupid when your the dick and you cause all the problems
feels great not being wanted, or used, or... not attractive no more

its a really strong pain crying in agony "why cant you change"
let got of your baggage, let go of your negatives.
in the end it all dies to only be reborn with the same set of rules and lessons

still makes a tear, still creates a feeling, itchs a worry, ends with a heart broken

did i ruin it from the start with words of love, have a played with your emotions, have i used you for what i never wanted to, are we meant to be, am i what you believe you are. am i the too much person. why? i beleive you are what ive needed, the good and the bad, the ups and downs, the love and the fear. im a pussy and dont think i could cope with a lose again, yet you say you could, i know you could.
will you get sick of me and not vice versa, will you give up and get annoyed with me . are we too alike. do we have to much emotion and pity towards each other.
are we sad insecure people or mad stressed induviduals with to much to lose and not enough in gain. are we constantly on the move for security. are we just using each other ?

all i want to do is cry my eyes out, but i just cant.
maybe tonight, under my pillow. maybe inside my heart. that which drives me in insantiy, that feeling i never want to happen again.
should i just end what is feeling enebatable or conitue with what is a marrage, oversome to reach what i so desire.

im fucking so scared right now, right at this point . once again.
i dont think ill sleep tonight.
and not a single thing i could do to bring you to me and make this better will help atm.
what a wonderful feeling.