the wrong body

so im not understanding the points or principles of certain events atm.
im not. agreeing, or worst making sense of such irrational emotions. my head hurts. and whats worse, every time its better, theres something that gets it worse. its my head.
im loading myself full of knowleadge. learning the quint essetials of every little detail. everything you wanted, more the what i needed, for what, aknowleadgement or understanding. peace or defense? no.. peace and love.
whats more not in tact with my brain is the seqaul of events that has made such desicions to create a reality that dosent feel connected to this one. but is it ?. its quite real, and its happening now. i feel. and you do to. yet nothing seems right
for it may not be everything i so desire and want. it must be something i need and must admit. for struggling will only get worse.
yet should i keep reading. or should i quit

feelings. memory's. predictions. they cloud my mind.
i am very scared.
im trapped in the wrong body.
have i lost my mind.

i do apoligise, im a terible writer