Most times

Sometimes and really when you think about it, most times life just doesn't go the way you've planned it. To the point, I have a son. His name is Zachary. And his mother and I are not together.
So you can probably guess why I mention that sometimes it just doesn't go the way you would like it to.
I've given up before, and I've wanted to give up completely at times. But I haven't yet. And don't plan to. Weather I'm in my sons life for as much as I want to or not i don't feel the need to push and. change the course of how my life is pretty much meant to be atm. It is just how it is atm. And my biggest acceptance is dealing with it. Shit happens and there's no use complaining and trying to redirect the course that has already bestowed upon me will make the struggle much worse. Im learning hard that's for sure. But doin what I can to see that this is just how it is for me. All I can do is be aware and wise to not let such events happen to me every again. That is the real challenge I believe.
I am changing everyday. And learning more every second of my life.
But I know.... I have far to go. And if I keep holding in I'll be just fine.
I love you so much my son. And you and me will have a great life together.

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