The juggling act

So it was at a young age i learnt to juggle, i can remember it clearly.
we had just moved to bridgetown and mother couldnt handle another town where i ran a muk and did nothing but help not prevent my mum from pulling her hair out anymore due to my insane ADHD issues and cronic ability to not sit still and pay attention for longer then 1 minute.

As i remember, i practised quite alot, i juggeled and juggeled my way to 3.
these balls were my greatest friends and for years and years i still have the skill to juggle those three.

So im now 25, i have decided to juggle once again in a sense to acquire some knowledge and sense of understandment in what balance may be for me.
As i juggle these balls they start to have feelings and emotions, one starts to become my favorite and i use it at my will to entertain my affection that somehow burns inside me.
I dont not intend this to be, but my conciseness has slipt it to happen,i just keep juggling. after some time i put that one down and start to play with another, rotating when i please, swapping and changing, yet these balls i love and cherish, i treat with upmost care, they are not toys but apart of me and being aware. why do i use them when i do not want that.
somehow my carefree nature has overcome me without noticing, for i believe i was not at the beginning, for now im starting to use the juggling balls for more then just my amusement. soon i may leave them outside, soon they may deteriorate and fall apart, soon they may be lost, soon they may roll away and disappear from me. for i could be using them just for my pleasure..
soon i may choose to juggle to many, soon i may not juggle enough.
but i truly know that all i want ed to do was give each and every juggling ball just enough.
i never meant to drop them and i never meant to throw them, i will always love and treat them fairly with the balance i promoted, for it is what i intended for myself.
so please dont leave me juggling balls, please understand why ive juggled.
for it wasnt for selfish reasons its was for my balance of love!