what can I say that my face doesn't

I'm a emotional headcase. I'm living a life of depression. I wanna cry in my sleep. I want what I cant have. I don't want to move forwards.
But it seems you are quite happy to move, find another. why cant I accept that. It hurts me that I still want, care, learn and love you. And you show you don't. Maybe you do, but you show you don't. I don't blame you, you had enough of me, or did you have enough of you? They come and they go. Maybe I'll be forgotten instantly.maybe your next will be forgotten. Or maybe it will repeat history again. Then I'll be gone for sure. But I'll still wait here, because I won't forget. I will never entirely let go. For no one ever cared for me like you have. I need you. and I suppose we need 2months. And maybe no one ever will. Maybe 2 months is to long, and it will be long gone. And I ruined that...
Not even inquiry will help
Another chance with you in my life will

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you are your own suffering; you are your own happiness. too late...

These walls are cold, there is the sound of only the cats on the roof. Oh that's the train. I missed my chance, a chance that comes 4 times a day. Not to worry. This room smells of diamonds. These sheets feel like, you.

For one day who would you be?
Me? Id be you.
So I knew how you feel. How I felt to you.

What I want I can't have. What I need I don't want. Simple. No.

You don't have the answer. Yet I keep asking with every take by looking to the bottom of you. I know better. Do i?

I feel like no ones favorite. I don't feel pretty. Probably cause all I took was that I'm not a good person. Am I ?. Do you really not like what I am. What I've done. Or do you need to inquiry yourself,
is that really true ?
I'm just as sad and lonely, rejected and not needed even more. Whatever It doesnt feel it matters.
All I have are memory's, memory's that may just fade. After what was said, why would you hang.

So why do all good things come to an end?
Because nothing lasts forever.

Yet
Something is created from nothing.

So when this door closes, i'll be there waiting for the next door to open.
and if our doors will ever open again...I'll be a different person.
Not suffering inside

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set your own trap

I just can't write how I feel atm. I need to say it out loud. I've come here to get away, away from my heart. but all I've done is come closer, and I can feel it throbbing hard. don't help being ontop of this hill, but what can you do. your very far away.

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the wrong body

so im not understanding the points or principles of certain events atm.
im not. agreeing, or worst making sense of such irrational emotions. my head hurts. and whats worse, every time its better, theres something that gets it worse. its my head.
im loading myself full of knowleadge. learning the quint essetials of every little detail. everything you wanted, more the what i needed, for what, aknowleadgement or understanding. peace or defense? no.. peace and love.
whats more not in tact with my brain is the seqaul of events that has made such desicions to create a reality that dosent feel connected to this one. but is it ?. its quite real, and its happening now. i feel. and you do to. yet nothing seems right
for it may not be everything i so desire and want. it must be something i need and must admit. for struggling will only get worse.
yet should i keep reading. or should i quit

feelings. memory's. predictions. they cloud my mind.
i am very scared.
im trapped in the wrong body.
have i lost my mind.

i do apoligise, im a terible writer