This was like no other. The first view was like no other. The deepth and serenity of the situation was like no other. Amazing
It all was horribly wrong thou.
First it was impatiences.
Then it was hysterical excitement. Enough to handle. Yet too much for my palate.
The feeling of chanting crowds. Competitive people. Loud noises
Sport sport sport.
What's the fucken beef.
Defense defense defense.
Wtf????
Then the awkward clostricfobia. Then the energy slowly seeping.
So many voices, so much crowd.
She is used to it. She is not helping.
But she doesn't know. Yet she is trying.
Why can't I enjoy this. Why do I judge. This is not me even if I tried.
Why why why?????
All o want to do is say thankful and act greatful.
Emotions emotions emotions!!!
I can't say a single word. My head has shut of. My voice has closed down. My ears are ringing loud.
I'm not used to this. But I wanted this. I want to be more interactive.
Talk and communicate more.
To experience, to impress.
I guess its a daddy thing thou.
Will these people go away. Or do I need to again.
All I want to do is scream out loud and curl into a tiny little ball. Or even cry so hard it hurts.
All I need is to be held with love and understood without words. I have failed. Thank god he wasn't there
Why did it go wrong. Why can't I be like them. Why can't I enjoy it for her.
Why can't express my feelings?
What more can I write...
Oh... Goodbye.
Why did I put myself in the deep end?
